She stood there - alone, scared, and helpless. As the cars kept passing by, she knew she was obligated to entice. She felt emotionally numb, yet still scared. She knew he was watching her every move, so she forced herself to play the part. Afraid of what he would do to her if she failed to bring in the expected amount of cash, she continued to walk. The night was chilly, and she certainly wasn't dressed for it. He had taken her shopping, and pretty much picked out the most skimpiest outfits she had ever worn. She should have felt pretty. She felt shame instead. Yet she rationalized in her head. After he paid his debt off, she wouldn't have to work any more. He had promised her. And he loves her. She knows he does. Maybe that was enough. Love was not a familiar word to her growing up. Everyone wanted something from her. Love came with stipulations. It wasn't real; it always had strings attached. Her father was abusive and her mother was too busy working to even notice that her oldest daughter was slowly slipping away. It started with skipping school and getting high with friends. From there, one thing led to another and she met him. He was nice. He bought her things. He noticed her. All her life she longed for someone to simply care about her. She craved attention, any kind of attention. And she was willing to do anything to keep his attention. Anything. So she walked the streets into all hours of the night. Not knowing if things were going to ever get better. Not having any hope for the future. Submissively, she continued walking.
Read more real life stories.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Monday, May 2, 2011
Spontaneous Love
Inspired from My Utmost For His Highest, by Oswald Chambers.
Our love flows from our hearts through the Holy Spirit (Romans 5:5). Some things we'll look back and wonder why we did them. It was because of God's "spontaneous love" flowing through us, stirring our hearts for His works. Stirring our hearts for what stirs His.
There is evidence of that in my life, with my desire to work with victims of human trafficking and children in Romania. I don't really know why - I'm neither a victim nor an orphan. God gave me His heart.
What has God given you a heart for? How has the Holy Spirit stirred your heart for that? What vision have you received as a result? What steps are you taking toward that vision?
recommended reading:
Our love flows from our hearts through the Holy Spirit (Romans 5:5). Some things we'll look back and wonder why we did them. It was because of God's "spontaneous love" flowing through us, stirring our hearts for His works. Stirring our hearts for what stirs His.
There is evidence of that in my life, with my desire to work with victims of human trafficking and children in Romania. I don't really know why - I'm neither a victim nor an orphan. God gave me His heart.
What has God given you a heart for? How has the Holy Spirit stirred your heart for that? What vision have you received as a result? What steps are you taking toward that vision?
recommended reading:
Monday, March 14, 2011
New Vision
Looking at the last entry, I have to cringe.
It's. been. too. long.
But I feel like things have been on stand-by for awhile. I'm still looking for that great apartment in Seattle with amazing roommates I know are out there *somewhere*... although some days I believe it more than others. Also pending is my complete involvement in the street ministry working with women in the sex industry. There are just a lot of hoops to jump through to ensure that every one of their volunteers are trained and qualified to minister to the women. Which is funny because I feel like I am none of the above, but I know that whenever God calls us to do something He equips us with the tools to accomplish it. And of course if I ever thought that I had it all together enough to do something in ministry, where would there be room to rely fully on God?
All that to say, I have not for one moment forgotten. In fact I've been thinking about Romania a lot lately. There are specific faces that stick out to me more than others, of course Bernadette being one of them, and many of the older boys I talk to on a regular basis. One of them hoping I would be back sometime in the summer. I kind of spilled the beans and told him I was planning a trip for the month of December. Still have yet to find out how that's gonna play out - and if it was God's idea or mine. It's just so hard to stay away for so long. So hard.
Back to the subject line. I was reading a scripture that is one of my favorites and always causes me such emotion every single time I read it. (From the context of Isaiah 61) Luke 4:18-19: "'The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor.'" Today it stuck out to me as so obviously my vision for Romania, and newly found passion for human trafficking.
As Christians, God has anointed every single one of us. We have what the world needs. There are no excuses for being silent. None. Even though it may cause rejection or even death, Jesus suffered that and more. Nothing we could ever give up would be equivalent to that. This is all He asks from us, and He deserves way more.
"...he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor..." Romania is one of the poorest countries in Europe. We don't know what "poverty" is. They certainly know what it means to be poor. The theme among the older kids when I asked them what they wanted to accomplish when they were older was simply to get a good job. To them, there were no other options. Their gifts and passions were irrelevant. A job is solely for survival. In my world here in America, I can be anything I want to be, do anything I want to do, and I don't worry about how I am going to get the resources. Maybe that comes from my faith in God, but it also has something to do with all the opportunities we have here.
"...he has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind..." While most in the sex industry are forced, some may say they choose to be there. However, if you are not serving God, you are serving Satan, and he provides no such thing as freedom. Every sin you give into you become a slave to. And if you live in darkness, how are you supposed to see where you are going? Someone is leading you. "Don't you know that when you offer yourselves to someone to obey him as slaves, you are slaves to the one whom you obey - whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness?" (Romans 6:16) Until we meet Jesus, we are blinded by the enemy. We can't see our sin or how ugly it makes us look and how damaging it is to our soul. We can't see that while we are in captivity. Jesus helps us take the blinders off, and see how broken we are without Him.
"...to release the oppressed and proclaim the year of the Lord's favor." Looking into the eyes of Romanians who have experienced the reign of Ceausescu, you can still see the oppression. I know that God has a marvelous plan of restoration for the people of Romania, and hope for the children there. Favor = an act of gracious kindness. God wants to heal and restore, and I am humbled that somehow I will have a part in it. I feel I already have. And I can't wait to see what's next.
It's. been. too. long.
But I feel like things have been on stand-by for awhile. I'm still looking for that great apartment in Seattle with amazing roommates I know are out there *somewhere*... although some days I believe it more than others. Also pending is my complete involvement in the street ministry working with women in the sex industry. There are just a lot of hoops to jump through to ensure that every one of their volunteers are trained and qualified to minister to the women. Which is funny because I feel like I am none of the above, but I know that whenever God calls us to do something He equips us with the tools to accomplish it. And of course if I ever thought that I had it all together enough to do something in ministry, where would there be room to rely fully on God?
All that to say, I have not for one moment forgotten. In fact I've been thinking about Romania a lot lately. There are specific faces that stick out to me more than others, of course Bernadette being one of them, and many of the older boys I talk to on a regular basis. One of them hoping I would be back sometime in the summer. I kind of spilled the beans and told him I was planning a trip for the month of December. Still have yet to find out how that's gonna play out - and if it was God's idea or mine. It's just so hard to stay away for so long. So hard.
Back to the subject line. I was reading a scripture that is one of my favorites and always causes me such emotion every single time I read it. (From the context of Isaiah 61) Luke 4:18-19: "'The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor.'" Today it stuck out to me as so obviously my vision for Romania, and newly found passion for human trafficking.
As Christians, God has anointed every single one of us. We have what the world needs. There are no excuses for being silent. None. Even though it may cause rejection or even death, Jesus suffered that and more. Nothing we could ever give up would be equivalent to that. This is all He asks from us, and He deserves way more.
"...he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor..." Romania is one of the poorest countries in Europe. We don't know what "poverty" is. They certainly know what it means to be poor. The theme among the older kids when I asked them what they wanted to accomplish when they were older was simply to get a good job. To them, there were no other options. Their gifts and passions were irrelevant. A job is solely for survival. In my world here in America, I can be anything I want to be, do anything I want to do, and I don't worry about how I am going to get the resources. Maybe that comes from my faith in God, but it also has something to do with all the opportunities we have here.
"...he has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind..." While most in the sex industry are forced, some may say they choose to be there. However, if you are not serving God, you are serving Satan, and he provides no such thing as freedom. Every sin you give into you become a slave to. And if you live in darkness, how are you supposed to see where you are going? Someone is leading you. "Don't you know that when you offer yourselves to someone to obey him as slaves, you are slaves to the one whom you obey - whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness?" (Romans 6:16) Until we meet Jesus, we are blinded by the enemy. We can't see our sin or how ugly it makes us look and how damaging it is to our soul. We can't see that while we are in captivity. Jesus helps us take the blinders off, and see how broken we are without Him.
"...to release the oppressed and proclaim the year of the Lord's favor." Looking into the eyes of Romanians who have experienced the reign of Ceausescu, you can still see the oppression. I know that God has a marvelous plan of restoration for the people of Romania, and hope for the children there. Favor = an act of gracious kindness. God wants to heal and restore, and I am humbled that somehow I will have a part in it. I feel I already have. And I can't wait to see what's next.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
I don't make resolutions
I do, however, create goals. One of which is to learn the Romanian language while I'm here in America.
Okay, so I've had that goal for awhile. But I've finally found a language program that teaches Romanian (everyone just wants to learn French or Italian!)... and it's free! Quick plug - Before You Know It (Byki) is great for learning phrases. I'll have to work on the grammar with something else... or via Yahoo messenger with my Romanian friends. :)
For awhile I struggled with the motivation to learn - or teach myself. Which I am ashamed to admit. I feel like I miss out on so much whenever I'm there and all the children are speaking in a language I don't understand. I love the language so much I could listen to it all day long and not care whether or not I understood... but I so long to communicate with the children, and in their language!
So all that to say, I have started this week, and hopefully the program will take me far... far enough not to have to pay (because WHY pay when you can get it for free??)
Wish me luck!!
Okay, so I've had that goal for awhile. But I've finally found a language program that teaches Romanian (everyone just wants to learn French or Italian!)... and it's free! Quick plug - Before You Know It (Byki) is great for learning phrases. I'll have to work on the grammar with something else... or via Yahoo messenger with my Romanian friends. :)
For awhile I struggled with the motivation to learn - or teach myself. Which I am ashamed to admit. I feel like I miss out on so much whenever I'm there and all the children are speaking in a language I don't understand. I love the language so much I could listen to it all day long and not care whether or not I understood... but I so long to communicate with the children, and in their language!
So all that to say, I have started this week, and hopefully the program will take me far... far enough not to have to pay (because WHY pay when you can get it for free??)
Wish me luck!!
Monday, November 29, 2010
The importance of acceptance
One article I read recently about a girl who had been trafficked from China to Manhattan made me realize something. She had been offered a job abroad, and ended up in an office - in midtown Manhattan - with strange men, and after they gang raped and beat her, they videotaped her in humiliating poses, and threatened to send the video to her family if she didn't comply to their demands. She was forced into prostitution, and at some point eventually got arrested. The police asked her if she had been trafficked into the country, and she said no. She was afraid if she made it known to the police that she was a victim of any sort, her captors would send the videotape to her family.
This brings up many things. One: so many times we think of human trafficking happening in and around third-world countries, but the truth is, it happens everywhere. Even America. Two: a myth surrounding the issue of prostitution is the thought that it is the choice of the sex worker to be in that industry. More often than not, that's completely not the case. Many are forced and enslaved.
What struck me the most about this story, was that this girl was more afraid of what her family would think of her, than she was of going back to her pimp, and working the streets selling her body for sex, repeatedly raped and probably beaten every single day. I understand that the Asian culture puts a great deal of emphasis on family honor and status, but something has gone wrong when a girl would rather be violated every day than be rescued from that situation, and have her parents know about it.
Something I found interesting about the children in Romania who had been dumped in the orphanage, was the fact that they still longed to be accepted by family. It didn't matter if they were still in contact with family, or they knew that their parents wanted nothing to do with them, they would jump at the slightest gesture - a phone call, a letter, an invitation to visit. I believe God created us to thrive in community. We were not meant to be isolated. That is why God said when He created Adam that it was "not good for man to be alone." He created the family structure for our physical, emotional, mental and spiritual growth. When that family structure breaks down, we are vulnerable to harm in every area. The good news is that when we accept God, He puts us in a new family! And in that, there is restoration and healing.
My prayer is that mothers and fathers will realize that their unconditional love and acceptance is more important than reputation. If those girls who ran away from home and are now "working" the streets, knew that their parents loved and accepted them no matter what, and were not going to be made to feel ashamed, they may run back home. Unfortunately, when we are rejected, we tend to look to anyone to feel accepted. And sometimes it's the wrong acceptance.
This brings up many things. One: so many times we think of human trafficking happening in and around third-world countries, but the truth is, it happens everywhere. Even America. Two: a myth surrounding the issue of prostitution is the thought that it is the choice of the sex worker to be in that industry. More often than not, that's completely not the case. Many are forced and enslaved.
What struck me the most about this story, was that this girl was more afraid of what her family would think of her, than she was of going back to her pimp, and working the streets selling her body for sex, repeatedly raped and probably beaten every single day. I understand that the Asian culture puts a great deal of emphasis on family honor and status, but something has gone wrong when a girl would rather be violated every day than be rescued from that situation, and have her parents know about it.
Something I found interesting about the children in Romania who had been dumped in the orphanage, was the fact that they still longed to be accepted by family. It didn't matter if they were still in contact with family, or they knew that their parents wanted nothing to do with them, they would jump at the slightest gesture - a phone call, a letter, an invitation to visit. I believe God created us to thrive in community. We were not meant to be isolated. That is why God said when He created Adam that it was "not good for man to be alone." He created the family structure for our physical, emotional, mental and spiritual growth. When that family structure breaks down, we are vulnerable to harm in every area. The good news is that when we accept God, He puts us in a new family! And in that, there is restoration and healing.
My prayer is that mothers and fathers will realize that their unconditional love and acceptance is more important than reputation. If those girls who ran away from home and are now "working" the streets, knew that their parents loved and accepted them no matter what, and were not going to be made to feel ashamed, they may run back home. Unfortunately, when we are rejected, we tend to look to anyone to feel accepted. And sometimes it's the wrong acceptance.
Friday, November 19, 2010
Human Trafficking & Romania
Romania is one of the poorest countries in eastern Europe, making it fertile ground for human traffickers. Men, women, and children alike are trafficked in Romania for labor & sex trade. According to Romanian police statistics, about 3,000 children disappear each year... just disappear.
All of this information came to me unexpectedly (how did I not think to look up "safe houses in Romania" on Google??) I didn't think there were any, until I stumbled upon a random website via an organization I follow on Twitter. (By the way, I used to think Twitter was utterly ridiculous, and just another way for us to idolize celebrities and boost our American egos by seeing how many people we can get to "follow" our mindless, absurd "tweets".... and I still pretty much think that. But praise God for the networking possibilities of the Internet! A lot of the organizations I do "follow" on Twitter are a big source of where I get my information regarding human trafficking. Now if only I could get 1+ million followers..... JK!)
All this to say, a few days ago, I had no idea if there were any efforts made to prevent human trafficking in Romania via the government, or locals. And then I discover there are laws against trafficking, and there are safe houses! I suppose I'm a few steps behind on the informative scale, but I just see this as another stepping stone towards the amazing plan God has for my life.
And all I can say is, who am I?
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Enough
As I have been thinking and praying about getting more involved in human trafficking and street ministry here in Seattle, the more I begin to wonder... not what I have to offer, because I know what that is! But everything about this concept of human trafficking and selling sex is something that I have been extremely blessed to have had zero experience in! I've always used my personal testimony as a means to minister, and sure I've been through a lot, but is it enough? Is it relatable? Testimony is powerful because of the power of God. Am I saying that's not enough?
Maybe I am.
In that case, I should get over myself and allow God to use me and speak through me, and regardless of what I have to say it WILL MATTER because of the power of God. Maybe because the rumors I've heard of girls getting repeatedly beaten and abused, emotionally attached to the men who are pimping them out, are actually true. I'm a hands-on type of person. I want to be out there, where the action is. But I fear the unknown. I don't trust myself not to break down. The cry of injustice is too strong not to react. Maybe that's a good thing. Maybe it's a significant sign of strength rather than weakness.
Maybe I am.
In that case, I should get over myself and allow God to use me and speak through me, and regardless of what I have to say it WILL MATTER because of the power of God. Maybe because the rumors I've heard of girls getting repeatedly beaten and abused, emotionally attached to the men who are pimping them out, are actually true. I'm a hands-on type of person. I want to be out there, where the action is. But I fear the unknown. I don't trust myself not to break down. The cry of injustice is too strong not to react. Maybe that's a good thing. Maybe it's a significant sign of strength rather than weakness.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Puzzle Pieces
I have moved. Well, technically, I'm looking to move, I have a temporary (amazing!) home that I will be staying in until I can find a more permanent-ish one. The "ish" because no matter what, my sights are continually set on my goal of going to Romania yet again... and possibly not coming back. We all know this. This is not news. What IS news, is that I got a job working as a full-time nanny for a wonderful family in...wait for it...Seattle! What is truly exciting about this is, since the beginning of the year, I have been drawn to get involved in ending human trafficking. Seattle is actually one of the top cities in the country for human trafficking. Interesting how God works in that way. I am super excited to start making connections now that I am located here, and already have!
Here are some links from organizations in the Seattle area helping to prevent human trafficking:
Mars Hill Downtown Campus is hosting a town meeting to raise awareness Oct 19th.
New Horizons ministry reaches out to the girls on the streets.
YouthCare provides shelter for homeless youth.
And in the New York area: GEMS
Great resources and ideas on ways to help prevent and raise awareness for human trafficking.
I call these just pieces to the puzzle of my calling here in Seattle... who knows what other connections will come my way!
Here are some links from organizations in the Seattle area helping to prevent human trafficking:
Mars Hill Downtown Campus is hosting a town meeting to raise awareness Oct 19th.
New Horizons ministry reaches out to the girls on the streets.
YouthCare provides shelter for homeless youth.
And in the New York area: GEMS
Great resources and ideas on ways to help prevent and raise awareness for human trafficking.
I call these just pieces to the puzzle of my calling here in Seattle... who knows what other connections will come my way!
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
I left my heart in Romania
Imagine you sponsor a little girl somewhere overseas, and you get to spend three weeks with her, and she was calling you "mother" within days, and never wanted to leave your side. Imagine four amazing, beautiful, sweet teenage girls taking you shopping and swimming, and showing you around a wonderful city in which after seeing it was love at first sight. Imagine the sweetest teenage boys you've ever known whose mother abandoned them, and whose father they barely speak to, begging and literally praying that you wouldn't have to leave. Imagine spending two days with a woman who has been through and seen more than anyone I've ever known, yet is still so loving, caring and generous. Now imagine having to leave all of that, and come back to the stress of finding a job in a terrible economy, and having to find a new place to live within a month.
It hasn't been easy.
And through it all, all I know to do is to focus on Him. No matter what comes up, that is all the direction I'm getting. There is a certain peace that "passes all understanding" that certainly comes and goes, but I am amazed at how I've been handling things. Something I've realized is, if I'm never in need, I wouldn't ever need God. And if I didn't go through challenges, I wouldn't have the opportunity to live out my faith. You know that cliche saying, "everything happens for a reason"? I believe it. And I'm not going to worry, because worry is a lack of trust in God. I know I will go back someday, and see all my beautiful friends and now family that I have there. Until them, they are in my heart and in my prayers every day.
It hasn't been easy.
And through it all, all I know to do is to focus on Him. No matter what comes up, that is all the direction I'm getting. There is a certain peace that "passes all understanding" that certainly comes and goes, but I am amazed at how I've been handling things. Something I've realized is, if I'm never in need, I wouldn't ever need God. And if I didn't go through challenges, I wouldn't have the opportunity to live out my faith. You know that cliche saying, "everything happens for a reason"? I believe it. And I'm not going to worry, because worry is a lack of trust in God. I know I will go back someday, and see all my beautiful friends and now family that I have there. Until them, they are in my heart and in my prayers every day.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Wrapping it up
My last few days in Romania were spent at Casa Otniel, an orphanage outside of Timisoara. I had great conversations with Patricia, the "house mom" for the summertime. I wanted to spend a longer amount of time in Romania to experience the life and culture more, and I got a bigger glimpse of that just through my conversations with her. She told me some crazy stories about some very traumatic things that happened to her, including witnessing a baby being stolen! And for them, it's life. It's not normal, but it happens. We take our freedom and rights for granted here, not understanding how hard our fathers before us had to work to get it that way. I had a couple of people tell me they notice Americans smile a lot. Being under oppression for so long, Romanians had nothing to smile about, and even still the life is hard for some. The older kids I asked what they wanted to do after they leave the orphanage, most all of them said they want to "find a job, make money." There are little opportunities for them, and if they do get the chance to go to college, it's not gonna help them find a better job. So many I talked to wanted to move out of the country. Go to Ireland, France, Spain, and "find work," and were shocked when I told them I wanted to live in Romania some day. "Stay in America, it's better for you." They couldn't believe that going to Romania was a dream of mine, when coming to America is such an unattainable one for most of them.
Life is sometimes hard there, yes. But I also witnessed joy, compassion, and generosity, and I know those who are obedient to the Lord's voice are richly blessed with the things that matter.
Life is sometimes hard there, yes. But I also witnessed joy, compassion, and generosity, and I know those who are obedient to the Lord's voice are richly blessed with the things that matter.
Casa Dorca
Casa Dorca is an orphanage in Prilipet, a village about an hour away from Resita. I got to spend time with my "adopted" brothers there. From my time there last year, I was instantly drawn to these amazing kids. They show such a pure integrity and compassion of heart that I know comes through a genuine relationship with God. I instantly felt at home with them, and fell in love with them all over again. There are mostly all pre-teen to teenagers at Casa Dorca, and though they occasionally get in fights like any normal family would, you can tell they truly care about one another. I was very impressed by how the older boys treated the younger children. They are excellent role models, and I am so proud of them! I was so blessed to spend the whole week with them... I already miss them though. It was very hard to leave!
After a week with them, I accompanied them to their camp for just one day. As the day went on, I felt like God was speaking to me about a spirit of depression and loneliness among some of the kids in the camp. After conversations I had, and observations I made, I felt like I should speak with Charlie, the leader of the camp, about it. We prayed together, and then later that night he had me share with the whole group what was on my heart. I also sang a song and played the piano after much coaxing from the kids.
Charlie had mentioned to me before that when people come to visit the orphanages, and then don't come back, it's almost like the children are being abandoned all over again. I hope that even though I don't live with them permanently, that I will have made even a small difference in their life, and that the fact that I came back a second time to see them means I truly care about them.
After a week with them, I accompanied them to their camp for just one day. As the day went on, I felt like God was speaking to me about a spirit of depression and loneliness among some of the kids in the camp. After conversations I had, and observations I made, I felt like I should speak with Charlie, the leader of the camp, about it. We prayed together, and then later that night he had me share with the whole group what was on my heart. I also sang a song and played the piano after much coaxing from the kids.
Charlie had mentioned to me before that when people come to visit the orphanages, and then don't come back, it's almost like the children are being abandoned all over again. I hope that even though I don't live with them permanently, that I will have made even a small difference in their life, and that the fact that I came back a second time to see them means I truly care about them.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Not your ordinary trip to Costco
My week in Timisoara was almost like a vacation... we walked around the center, went shopping (still haven't find those perfect white shoes to go with that summer dress I bought), went swimming, and just umm... relaxed a lot. It's so against my nature to feel unproductive. I can't do it. I think I might be addicted to busy-ness... is that a real thing?? I think so. Especially for Americans. But I think it's funny that I came here for ministry purposes, and God decides to give me a rest. I know He did a lot in my heart during that time, but at the time it was quite frustrating. The last day I was there however, I met a group of people from Germany who come every year and buy groceries and supplies for Casa Sperantie and Casa Otniel, and I was able to help them out with that. Growing up in a family of 6, my mom went to Costco once a month and stocked up. This trip to a Romanian-esque Costco was nothing like that! At one point, I found myself pushing a cart full of frozen chickens. I was very amused by the looks I got. I just kept laughing to myself.. which probably made me look even more crazy.
At Casa Otniel, it was such a joy to watch the children unload the goods, and see the looks on their faces at all the food they knew was for them! Even though I only had a small part in helping out, it was a tremendous feeling to be apart of that. It made it all worth it.
At Casa Otniel, it was such a joy to watch the children unload the goods, and see the looks on their faces at all the food they knew was for them! Even though I only had a small part in helping out, it was a tremendous feeling to be apart of that. It made it all worth it.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Saying Goodbye
I am a little behind on blogging, but I will try to catch you up...
It seems like so long ago now, but it's only been a week since I left the Emmaus kids behind in Bogata. I look at their pictures way too often, and feel like they are so far away, even though it's only a 6-hr (less than pleasant) train ride away, whereas when I go home it will be..... much further than that! I pretty much miss them all, but the Tamas family sticks out in my mind....
Anna with her beautiful features and maturity that goes beyond her 12 years...Lati (pronounced lot-SEE) is a kind of a shepherd to the younger ones, Eszther says. He seems very genuine, and different from the older boys who try to act "cool"... and Katalin (Kati) is so full of love, and God bless her but she would always try to talk to me in Hungarian and I couldn't understand a word! Misi (MEE-she) has grown up so much, I can tell he is more mature, and even though he still picks on the younger children a lot, I know he has a good heart and wants to do good. He was answering a lot of Bible questions, and I am encouraged by his spiritual insight. Erszi I called her "my baby girl." Spending 3 weeks with her, I often wondered what her deep eyes have seen, and what goes on inside that little head of hers. I loved it when she smiled at me, her smile was so precious. Anti was my favorite (besides Bernie of course!) I was so happy to see him smile and laugh and even joke around with me... last year his eyes and face showed no emotion. All the older boys loved him a lot and it was good to see he is being taken very good care of! Bernadette is hilarious. She was always falling tripping, falling out of cars, she would fall when she was sitting on my lap! She was a ball of energy and totally and completely-- I don't even have the word! I love her little giggle, and when she spoke - even if it wasn't that often - and when I would hold her hand while we were walking somewhere and every 10 seconds she would lag behind and I would have to tug at her arm because she got distracted by something on the street. I loved when I would come into her room every night to say goodnight, we would snuggle and she called me "anya" ("mother" in Hungarian). There are so many other things I loved about her...
When I was saying goodbye to them, they were hugging and kissing me and telling me not to cry... which of course made me cry even more! I know better than to make promises, but I know in my heart I will see them again. And I will continue to pray for them, and little Ilona who will join them at Emmaus in September!
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Thank you Jesus
This week we are in Praid (or Prajd), in the salt mines. I am amazed that Romanians would pay 40 lei (which equals about $12 which is nothing for us, but 40 lei on their income is a lot) for an indoor playground and exercise program, which is basically just stretching for one hour. I thought it would be more of a tourist attraction or museum of some sort, but no. Lots of swings, see-saw's, ping-pong tables and open spaces to play. And big bouncy toys and mazes, but for pay! It's kinda funny.
I have learned a lot about myself, the Lord, and a little bit of Hungarian! I am going to have to start making a list of every time I say "thank you, Jesus" for the littlest things...
This morning, I woke up later on purpose, so I could shower while the children were eating breakfast. One bathroom for 27 kids! You think sharing with your roommate or family is hard?? Try that. I came out of my room - another "thank you Jesus" moment, I was provided my own room! - and Eszter asks me if I would like to use her shower in her room. That little thing made my day! It was nice and clean, as opposed to the children's, as you can imagine. I just love how God shows me He is looking out for me, and cares about the littlest things.
It's going to be hard to leave these kids, I will have been with them basically non-stop for 3 weeks when I leave on Monday, but I am excited to see my friends in Timisoara. They speak good English, which it is a shame that none of the children speak good enough English to have in-depth conversations. I want to know their struggles and how to pray for them, and encourage them. I will let my prayers be enough, and pray for the spiritual mothers and fathers who will and are walking alongside them.
Another "thank you Jesus" moment: thank you Jesus for giving me a place to hideaway from the children and write and upload pics without little faces crowding me. Amen.
Until next time I have Internet, szia (pronounced: SEE-ya... pretty easy to remember!)
I have learned a lot about myself, the Lord, and a little bit of Hungarian! I am going to have to start making a list of every time I say "thank you, Jesus" for the littlest things...
This morning, I woke up later on purpose, so I could shower while the children were eating breakfast. One bathroom for 27 kids! You think sharing with your roommate or family is hard?? Try that. I came out of my room - another "thank you Jesus" moment, I was provided my own room! - and Eszter asks me if I would like to use her shower in her room. That little thing made my day! It was nice and clean, as opposed to the children's, as you can imagine. I just love how God shows me He is looking out for me, and cares about the littlest things.
It's going to be hard to leave these kids, I will have been with them basically non-stop for 3 weeks when I leave on Monday, but I am excited to see my friends in Timisoara. They speak good English, which it is a shame that none of the children speak good enough English to have in-depth conversations. I want to know their struggles and how to pray for them, and encourage them. I will let my prayers be enough, and pray for the spiritual mothers and fathers who will and are walking alongside them.
Another "thank you Jesus" moment: thank you Jesus for giving me a place to hideaway from the children and write and upload pics without little faces crowding me. Amen.
Until next time I have Internet, szia (pronounced: SEE-ya... pretty easy to remember!)
Reflections/funeral/Ilona
The vacation Bible school camp the LCC group put together. First of all, I was very impressed by them. Such a great group of (mostly women!) who have such big hearts and a love and passion for Jesus. I was very blessed for that to be my first week here. They were a big encouragement.
I am also very encouraged by a couple of the children who I remember from last year to be... somewhat difficult. Those were the ones who were excitedly answering Bible questions, and just the sweetest kids ever! I know that God has a special grace for me to be in this place, because feelings of discouragement from last year are being replaced with hope!
Some bad news, but also good in some way, is that Bernadette's grandmother passed away. The good part of that is that I am grateful to be here for her during this time, even if she may not understand completely what is going on. I hope that she will have memories of happiness with me while all this is going on.Her siblings loved her dearly and also seemed to be the one taking the most care of them during their home visits, so I am afraid for what may happen to them in the home when they go back to visit their family on holidays. I entrust them to God, and pray... that is all I can do.
The good news is that my little girl Ilona, Bernie's sister, will be in the orphanage in September! I have been praying for this little girl for over a year now, and the other day saw her smiling and laughing and playing with me! I am so thankful that God has kept her safe for this long, and even more excited that she will find a home at Emmaus with her siblings!
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