It's Official!

  Plane ticket to Romania is BOUGHT. I am officially going! Trip is from the middle of June until end of July! I will be working with the Emmaus Home in Bogata, which is in the northern part of Romania. Where they, might I add, speak Hungarian which is completely different from Romanian! I would rather stick to Romanian because I am actually able to read Romanian (that's half-way there to being fluent right??).... but hopefully I'll pick up a lot while I'm there!

  To be honest, I'm still so apprehensive about the whole thing. I will not have a phone and probably very minimal Internet use. I don't like being out of touch with family and close friends. They are what ground me. Another thing is this is the exact orphanage that was at the very bottom of my list to go back to! The need there was very overwhelming and I left very heavy-hearted for the children there and felt like we didn't make a difference. Of course that is a lie from the enemy. And I know that I am making a difference in Bernadette's life by sponsoring her, praying for her, and writing her. It's gonna take a lot of Jesus and His strength to sustain and encourage me. I feel like I took a big step of faith by even considering going back (although that was a given!) and am taking an even bigger one by actually doing it!

  When I found out for sure that this would actually happen, I was thanking God, but even before I could finish the thought, I felt Him say, "No thank YOU - I had the money lined up all along. You were just willing." There is so much need in the world! And let my life be a personal testimony to you, that money or time should never hinder you from your calling. If the Lord is calling you to do something that you're passionate about, He will accomplish it - if you are willing! The "harvest is plentiful but the workers are few." - Matt. 9:37

Kidstown Charity Auction

I am excited to help put together a charity auction for Kidstown! Please consider this your official invitation! While we have been given many generous donations, including sports/event tickets, salon/spa features, restaurant gift certificates, X-boxes, music lessons, free nights at hotels, we still need more donations! Anything you could contribute would be great, or any ideas you have from attending other auctions. If you've been reading my blog, you know what a great organization Kidstown is. But beyond all of that, my heart is to touch the orphans in some way. We all have spheres of influence and connections, and even if you personally don't have items to donate, be thinking about people you know who do, and who would love to donate to a wonderful and legitimate cause.

You can contact me directly at chariti.smith@yahoo.com

Wine Tasting Kidstown Charity Auction

A Love for the Lost

So while I was in Romania, I found it very easy to love the children who had been abandoned, some beaten, some physically and mentally disabled, some not so cute! I loved them all. It was easy. However, visiting some of the parents of these precious children, I found it very difficult to feel the same love for them. And then I realized Jesus loves the orphans just as much as he loves the parents who abandoned or even abused them. Then I wondered how could He! It was very difficult for me to love them through my exreme anger for them. The Jesus that hung on the cross for those children was the same Jesus that hung on the cross for their parents who left them. In the same way, Jesus died for the victims of rape, abuse, hate crimes, theft, and countless other crimes as well as their perpetrators. Who is like this God?!? I started asking God to show me how HE sees these people. All I saw was evil. I couldn't understand. And I can't even explain it now... it's one of those mysteries that God works in your heart that while it's happening you don't realize until it's all over and you think "Wow, my heart has completely changed in this area!" It could only be God, but my heart has changed towards the parents. I have forgiven them. Even if their children never will, I have begun to see them as God sees them - blinded, chained, lost. They need as much help as their children do.

Facing Your Fears

When I went to Romania, one of the things I experienced was an overwhelming sense of discouragement. I saw so much need there. I am only one person. How could I make a difference?? There was one orphanage in particular - the Emmaus Home - that had the most mentally and physically disabled children than any of the others we visited. There were also a lot of younger (4-7 year old) children there. I am more drawn to the younger children that age anway. But the need that I saw was so great, I was just so overwhelmed. It was a little more than I could handle...

...but God doesn't give us more than we can handle, right?

So I basically left knowing (*thinking) I would definitely not like to go back to that one, thank you. It's just too hard. There is too much need. Emotionally, I can't handle it.

Funny how God works.

The very orphanage I wanted to stay away from... the last one I would go back to, is the same one I am being sent to. Interesting. How come it's never the easy path?? The one that's lit very well, with no bends or curves so that you can see 5 miles down what the journey is going to look like?? WHY can't it be that one again?? Ohhhh right, because God wants us to trust Him, and the path that looks like the right one (or just the one we'd rather take) might be good and all, but not the best. After all, everything we do should ultimately be for God's glory.

Lately, I've kind of felt like Moses did when God asked him to speak to Pharaoh, and Moses' reply was "take my brother Aaron, he is a better speaker than I am." But Moses missed the point. God wanted to show Himself powerful through a weak human. So back to me... I have no idea why God would send me somewhere that would've been my very last choice. All I know is that for whatever the purpose is, He wants to prove Himself strong in my shortcomings, and whatever work He wants to do in me is only so that His glory may be revealed.

All this to say, from where I stand right now, I have no idea if I will even make it to Romania this year. But I serve a God who does. I also serve a God whose timing is perfect.

destiny...calling...trust.

Today was a crazy emotional day like the ones girls tend to have. Only this time, it definitely wasn't hormones. God has been working in my heart a lot the last couple of days. You see, there's this little trip this summer that I would really like to take, in an obscure European country called Romania that my very being has inexplainably fallen in love with. And today, with people who are going this summer, I shared a little bit of my heart for Romania, and some stories of my experiences there. Of course, I couldn't get through it without crying a little. What is crazy is that I met a person today who, about 2 minutes after meeting me, says to me, "You have an incredible calling on your life," and with tears in her eyes, "I am so honored to meet you!" I was completely blown away. I have never had a complete stranger speak (not even pray - just speak!) less than 4 sentences to me, that touched my very core so deeply. She was an amazing woman of God, and spoke with such wisdom and discernment that I felt so completely comfortable around her, and instantly drawn to her. Everything she said was confirmation of what God has been speaking to me for the last several years. And what I've been learning is that there is nothing I can do to "mess up" the plans He has for me! There's no wrong choice, or missed chance that could ever happen to deter me from the path that will lead me to my destiny. I am called by God! I have been chosen. My fear that I may not make it to Romania this year, is not from God. If God wants me there, it will happen... if it's not the right time, He'll close the door. Giving my desires back to Him is the hardest thing I've ever had to do! It's a whole new level of trust.

Whatever God has in store for my future, it's got to be amazing if even a perfect stranger can see it!

Kidstown

Kidstown is the organization I went to Romania with in spring of 2009. It is Christian-based and they run orphanages in Romania, India, and Nepal. The way I got connected with them is a fun story I love to tell.

In summer of 2008, I had moved back to the Seattle area from living in NYC for 5 years. (That's a whole other story!!) Staying with my dad until I got back on my feet, I was on my way out to go to work when my dad's wife was having a get-together for her 30th reunion with all of her old friends. My dad introduced me to the group, and one lady asked me if I was planning on going back to New York, or what I wanted to do. I had a heart for Romania since I was very young, but in my last year in NYC, God had been stirring my heart again towards it, which led me to move back to WA. I mentioned that I wanted to work in orphanages in Romania, and she goes, "oh really? Well you should talk to him!" and points to one of the other friends' husbands. Long story short, we got to talking, and he ended up inviting me on his next trip to Romania. The rest is history.

The context behind this story is what I love the most. #1: When I left my home here, I never ever wanted to come back. Of course to visit; my family was here, and so it would always be my "home," but it would never be home again. #2: My last 6 months in NYC I could not hold a steady job, and although I wanted to finish up my semester at school, it became harder and harder to live there, and the harder I tried to hold on, the more I was losing my grasp. In a way, I feel like I was forced out of New York, but I realize now that God had to make it difficult for me or else I would have kept trying to make it work! #3: The way I thought about it, I had many options of where I could move to. I have friends and family all over that would have, and did offer to take me in. When I did decide on going back to WA where my immediate family was "just for a little while" until God showed me the next step, staying with my dad was a huge challenge for me. I think it's always a little difficult when you've been on your own for so long, and then move back in with the 'rents. There's bound to be some conflict. It was definitely a time of... uh... character building. But if I wasn't staying there, I would've never ran into Chuck and... who knows! God did. I knew as a drove to work that night, that I was right where I belonged. Although it was difficult for me for many reasons, He had confirmed it in my heart.

And that is how I got connected with Kidstown. There are so many other details that delight me because of the intricacy how God works. But until next time... please keep me in your prayers! And be open to the Lord's leading. It may not look how you want it to look, but God speaks and will gently lead you down the right path.

http://www.kidstown.org/front_page.php
http://apps.facebook.com/causes/394835/97648312?m=ab445bc4

The Waiting Period

That is where I am right now! I would love to spend this summer in Romania. It looks almost impossible right now. I do not in any way have the finances for it, and there are a few other things that need to be worked out that aren’t quite coming together as perfectly as I would have hoped.

A few months ago, I was seeking God about my future. At 9 years old, He gave me the desire to go to Romania and work with orphans. As a child, when people would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would always reply confidently, “a missionary.” There was never a doubt in my mind that I was going to travel to Romania and minister to children there. I’ve felt that way ever since. So in my time of prayer, I felt God say to me to give my desire to go to Romania over to Him. My first reaction was “that’s a little ridiculous, You gave it to me!” But I realized it was taking precedence over everything else in my life – not making any kind of commitments or future plans that would tie me down, and hesitating to establish any new relationships because I didn’t know when I would have to say goodbye. God wanted to open my eyes to the work He wanted me to accomplish here, in the place He put me in… for such a time as this. I also realized that nothing I did could ever hinder His will for me to go there! If I was in obedience to God in any big decision I was making, He would eventually lead me to the place my heart desired.

All that to say…

I may not make it to Romania this year. And that needs to be ok. If only I could see the big picture, not the pieces I am looking at now that don’t make sense, I would not hesitate to trust. His timing is perfect. While planning for the future is good, Jesus wants me to live in the now. What does He have for me today? I have to remind myself of that literally every day.

So, where does that leave me? Confused? Yes. Frustrated? You bet. Resting in His peace? Always. Having joy in every circumstance is a choice. Does that mean we go around smiling and happy all the time, and never being down in the dumps every once in awhile because we have the “joy of the Lord”? Absolutely not. It’s a daily challenge, but God has given me the ability to be joyful in all of my circumstances, and praise Him whole-heartedly even if they’re not what I would like them to be! Even if it is resting in the knowledge that God is good and worthy to be praised.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFdeOT3lzqc

Introduction

I like to think of this blog as a combination of my heart for Romania, and my newfound passion for writing. If you are wondering what "Culori vibrante" means, I'll save you the trouble of googling it and let you in on the secret. It is Romanian for "vibrant colors." A little over a year ago, God gave me a vision for Romania. While visiting this country in the spring of 2009, I realized that Romania is full of picturesque countrysides, gorgeous architecture, and beautiful people inside and out. But the world - more specifically Europe's - view of Romania is tarnished by its history of communism that plagued its people for 40 years. In many ways, the people are still influenced by their history, but I believe that one day, they will rise up and truly become the people that God created them to be. And that is where my vision comes in.

Isaiah 58:11 says "The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen our frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail." After God gave me that scripture, He gave me a picture of a garden full of beautiful flowers. A garden and spring nourishes and blesses everything around it, bringing life and color. And that was a picture of what God wanted me to be - a garden, a symbol of life. Bringing God's love and joy to the people of Romania. That was not just to me specifically, for as Christians, we are all supposed to bring the love of God to all corners of the world. It was more an encouragement that although the world looks at Romania as being bleak and colorless, God will bring restoration and healing, and I will have just a small part in that process.

He has showed me a lot of other things that I will save for future entries. For now, thank you for reading this, and please follow me!