A Love For The Broken

  I remember my first night on outreach. We didn't see any girls out working. But what we did see affected me even more than the typical "pimp / girl" scene that I was expecting.

There were so. many. men.

  I think there must have been dozens within a 2-hour span. Driving by, slowing down, peering out their car window, sometimes even motioning for us. Almost all of them multiple times. I came home that night fighting the temptation to hate them. Then fighting fear that this work would make me bitter towards all men. Prayer seemed like the most appropriate thing to do right then, so that's what I did. I prayed for my heart, and I prayed for them. I still pray for them when we're out on the streets, and we watch them slow down next to us, sometimes even park and wait to see if we'll approach (obviously we don't!). And sometimes they'll even approach us. (Stupid on their part, in my opinion). I fully believe in justice, and I will stand and fight for laws that will continue to protect the girls and criminalize the men. I also personally know men who have themselves bought sex, visited a strip club, watched porn, or have in some way contributed to the sex industry, who are now living fully redeemed lives through the grace of God and the blood of Jesus. While sometimes, I still fight feelings of hatred and disgust towards the men, I am also reminded of the time where I was once lost, rebellious, and sinful (uhh, and still am!) and Jesus took my pitiful, broken life and turned it into something beautiful. While we are certainly not out on the streets for the men, I know that it is possible for God to reach down and grab them from the muck and mire they're in, and save them from themselves. The men are trapped in another form of slavery, and God is continuing to soften my heart towards them. They are broken too, as I once was. As we all were until Jesus found us, rescued us, and freed us. His heart breaks for them as it does for the girls. And YES, He gets angry at injustice, and He WILL punish and avenge for the sins committed against the innocent. But His heart is ultimately for them to worship God, and our job is to love - which sometimes just means pray. Hate the sin. Love the broken. 

John 4:10 - "This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins."

v. 19 - "We love because he first loved us." 

Hope & Peace.

  This work is so hard, yet it is rewarding. To be able to build relationships with the girls on the street is probably one of the hardest things I have ever done. The emotional ups and downs of relationship... the patient building of trust, and discernment that it takes to speak into their lives. I am continually finding my hope in Jesus, because if I try to do this work on my own, I am screwed.I find peace in Him, knowing that even if I do mess up, there is grace, and ultimately, He is in control. My only hope is that by His grace, I will continue to be faithful, and discerning, and through His work in me, there will be fruit. I am relentless in praying for salvation and freedom for these girls, and have the faith that it will be accomplished. I've witnessed it myself! I've seen girls come into relationship with Jesus, leave the life, be enveloped by the family of God. That alone is worth all of the emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual attack that this work brings. I long for my eternal home, where there will be no pain, suffering, or death... but until then, I will continue to "fight the good fight," having hope and peace in Jesus.